Wiping the slate clean.

Taken from The Sunday Star, 27th Febraury 2005.

By Ng Mei Huey.

Lisa sat on the floor, staring at the old shoe box in front of her. She had decorated it many years ago, for use as her memory box.

One by one, she took her things out: photographs of her family at the Grand Canyon; her note from her friend telling her that Nick liked her; some sweet cards. She lingered over the last before reaching for the last item in the box. It was a single sheet of paper with lines drawn to form boxes - 490, to be exact, and each box had one check mark.

As she stared at the paper, her mind wandered ...

"How many times must I forgive my brother?" the disciple Peter had asked Jesus. "Seven times?"

The Sunday school teacher then read out Jesus' answer to the class: "Seventy time seven."

Lisa leaned over to her brother and whispered, "How many times is that?"

Brent, two years younger but smarter, replied, "490".

She nodded and sat back in her chair.

Brent looked small for his age. He had narrow shoulders and came close to being a nerd. But his incredible talent in music made him popular among his friends. His music teacher had predicted that he would be a musician some day.

That night, Lisa drew up the chart with 490 boxes. She wanted to tally the number of times Brent forgave her. She showed him the chart before going to bed.

He protested. "You don't need to keep count." 

"Yes, I do!" Lisa interrupted. "You are always forgiving me, and I just want to keep track."

Slowly, the ticks filled the boxes. No. 418 was for losing Brent's keys; 449, for the dent in his car, which she'd borrowed; 467, for the time she put extra bleach in the washing and spoilt his favourite shirt.

They had a small ceremony when Lisa ticked No. 390. She let Brent sign the chart before putting it away in her memory box.

"I guess that's the end ... no more screw-ups for me!" she exclaimed.

Brent just laughed. "Yeah, right."

Soon enough, it happened. No. 491 was another careless mistake...

When Brent was in 4th grade at music school, he was offered an opportunity to audition for a place with an orchestra in New York. He was out when the call came. Lisa was the only one home; the audition was scheduled for May 26, the secretary reminded.

Lisa didn't think to jot that down, but assured her that Brent would get the message. Straight after hanging up, she sa down for her own music practice, and totally forgot about the call.

Some weeks later, as the family was having dinner, Brent suddenly said, "The people from the NY Orchestra were supposed to inform me..."

"What's the date today?" Lisa shouted.

"June 8."

"Oh no!"

She'd blown her brother's big chance. Guilt engulfed her as she related, how she'd picked up the phone and what happened after that. Brent ran straight into his bedroom and didn't come out again, not even to watch his favourite TV show.

That night, Lisa wrote a note. "Mum and Dad, I've made a terrible mistake and Brent won't forgive me. Don't worry, I'll be fine." - and left home.

She found a job in another town and settled into a small apartment. Her parents wrote countless letters to her, but she refuse to read or answer any of them.

One day, while at work, Lisa met a family friend, Aunt Winnie, who blurted out: "I'm so sorry about your brother..."

"Brent? What happened to him?"

Aunt Winnie explained that he had had an accident on the highway and died on the spot.

That night, Lisa returned home. After crying on Brent's bed, she crept into her own room and opened the memory box. There, on top of her forgiveness chart, was another, which had letters written big and bold: 

"491: Forgiven forever. Love, your brother Brent."